Yesterday evening, I suddenly heard myself singing, “Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance I wanna grow up once again” (courtesy: a song from ‘3 Idiots’). That set my mind thinking. I travelled back to my childhood days of sheer innocence and pure bliss - the time when the only thing broken was toys and the only thing that hurt were skinned knees. I stayed in the cozy comfort of my home for two and half years, and then went to a nursery school for one year. By the time I was three and a half I was in school. But now I had a chance to grow up again. So school would be a bit different now! Having got an opportunity to live all over again, I polish, mould and prune myself according to my new-found dreams. In my mind I start growing up once again. It was indeed a very charming thing to do. But a big question was: How do I change my life for the better?
A simply answer would have been: By erasing bitter memories, unwanted experiences and also by undoing the unexpected turn of events. So in my mind I jotted down a list of all those moments. Then reliving all those one by one I had a strange feeling. I tried to imagine my life without all those painful episodes. But I couldn’t … strange!!! I was shocked at myself for this! I should have been the happiest person but I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t bring myself to accept a smooth life without any heart-rending ordeal. So no matter how much I complained till date, I had realized that each and every experience had some relevance. I had heard others tell me this, but their words were not been as convincing as has been my own thought process. Safely I can now conclude that I don’t want to change my life. I am happy with myself, with what I have and with what I am. Now I no longer want a ‘Redo’ or ‘Undo’ button in my life!
Hitherto I knew myself as an optimistic person. But now this was the height of optimism!(at least that's how I put it!). I would cherish all the memories with no bitter after-taste. I don’t want to change anything because I don’t want to forget anything. After all, that is the wealth of life…
© Amritbir Kaur